The Proposal

*If you haven't read the previous post you should before reading this one*

Three years ago today was November 2, 2004, election day. President George W. Bush was running against Senator John Kerry. That day I went and cast my first presidential ballot, in some random BYU building on University Ave. That evening Robert and I were hanging out at my apartment and he leaned over to me and whispered, “Do you want to go make out?”

Now this caught my attention and brought back a memory from when we were first dating. Robert had told me that one of his friends had planned to propose to his future wife, but they were with a big group of friends and he didn’t know how to get her alone. So he asked her (discreetly of course) “Do you want to go make out?” Robert seemed to really get a kick out of that story. So when he leaned over and did the same thing, I immediately was suspicious.

We decided to go for a walk by taking the Provo River Parkway towards Robert’s apartment. He was acting kind of distracted so I definitely knew it was coming. We walked over a bridge and stopped and looked over the river. For some reason we did something very unromantic, we started spitting over the bridge. Then we were talking on the bridge and Robert got down on one knee and proposed. Since he had not had enough time to get a real ring yet, he proposed with a purple CTR ring. I of course said yes and then jumped up and down and hugged him. A few minutes later he let his roommate come out of the bushes who had been secretly filming it and we went back to their apartment to watch the tape and see who had won the election.

The Story of How Robert and Melarie Ended Up With a 1 1/2 Month Engangement

Three years ago today Robert asked me to marry him. I was thinking about things that happened around that time and thought I would write them down and share with you.

This story starts a couple weeks before November 2. In October of 2004 Robert and I had been dating for about ten months. We had already talked about marriage and thought of it as something that would happen eventually, but not until the next year sometime. Ideally we were thinking April, but I was in my junior year of college and I really wanted to do a foreign field study in the summer of 2005. So we started thinking maybe August after I came home, although logistically we weren’t sure how that would work out, planning a wedding with me in a different country. Either way, we felt a wedding was still far in the future.

Around this time we found out that my dad had been called up for active duty to Iraq. He would be leaving for training that month, remaining in the U.S. until the New Year. Then he would go to Iraq for a year. Well that put a kink in our marriage plans. I wanted my Dad to be there for my wedding, but now that meant waiting until the next December. I was already having doubts about an August wedding because I thought waiting until August felt like forever.

The day before my Dad left for training Robert and I drove up to Camp Williams for the farewell lunch that they had for the soldiers and their families. On the drive there Robert and I were discussing what this meant for our future plans, and I turned to him and said, “Why don’t we just get married this December?” So that’s what got the ball rolling for our short engagement. My Dad would probably be able to come back around Christmas so we could get married a few days before Christmas. We suddenly had a lot of planning to do.

The first time we told anyone what we were thinking was when we were back at my apartment on a weekend evening. My brother Chris was there, as well as a bunch of my roommates. There was a lot of chitchatting among everyone, including Robert and I. We were having our own little conversation at the kitchen table about wedding things, and I asked, “Should we tell people?” After all, they needed to know too if they were going to be at the wedding. So as we sat there at the table we announced that we were going to get married in December. It was kind of out of the blue and everyone was shocked, but very happy.

We still weren’t “officially” engaged however. Robert had not talked to my Dad, had not gotten down on one knee and had not asked me “Will you marry me.” And I had no ring!

Stay tuned for the next installment of Robert and Melarie’s proposal.

Lunch with the Govenor

Yesterday Robert went out to lunch with a bunch of his co-workers for a good-bye party for a co-worker who is leaving. Little did they know that Govenor Schwarzenegger was also in the downtown L.A. area yesterday discussing issues with the fires around L.A. The PWC employees chose the same restaurant that the Govenor chose to eat at for lunch, and they sat pretty close to him.

Halloween is NOT an Excuse to Dress Immodestly

This is my soapbox issue for the month. I was looking at the ads for Halloween costumes and every costume they had for adult women were all skanky, short skirt, hooker shoes outfits. Just because it is Halloween does not mean it is suddenly okay to look like a hooker. What's worse is that this trend is now extending to little girls' costumes. I was reading this article about the costumes out there for little girls, costumes that portray ten year-olds as "sexy maids" etc. The child models in the ads are made-up with heavy makeup and the author speculates were probably told to make their "best sexy gaze." What kind of parent would buy this for their daughter?

Adopt-A-Family

The past month at work has been really busy because we have been signing up families for our Adopt-A-Family program, aka Sub for Santa. Every day I sit down with about ten families and find out a little about them, get their clothes sizes and ask them what things they need and would like for Christmas. It makes me feel so blessed, and so lucky to be born in a family that could afford to buy me new clothes when I was growing up. The number one thing that people ask for is clothes because after paying rent and utilities they barely have enough for food. Clothes and other essentials often get put off for a long time because they are not as important as shelter and food. Occasionally I will get people who are still low-income, but who are not in as dire need and ask for something like a DVD player.
When I ask the mother's what they would like for their household the most common responses are a blender, an iron, a toaster, towels, and blankets.

A Day in the Life of Melarie

October 23:

1. Get up and drive to work

Robert and I carpool to work since we both work downtown.
Sunrise and traffic- there was a lot of smoke from the fires so the sunrise looked exta pretty.

Approaching Downtown

2. Work Site #1- PATH Mall

The PATH Mall is a "mall" of services for the homeless. Some of the free services they offer here are a job searching center, a barber shop, showers, hot lunches, case management and other agencies like Travelers Aid and, of course, The Salvation Army. Here I mainly help homeless families find an emergency shelter that has space for them, although I do occasional get people needing utility bill or rental assistance. They also have a homeless shelter on the upper floors. Here is my area

3. Work Site #2- Downtown Office

In the afternoon I go to The Salvation Army downtown offices. Here I also find shelter for homeless men, women, and families. Mostly though, we give out food and clothes and sign up families for our holiday programs.

There's my car! And yes I am parked in a handicap stall, parking is sparse in our lot and when I come in at mid-day I'm lucky to even get a stall. I just park in whatever area I can.

My office, it needs a little more decoration I think.

4. Come home and make dinner 5. Stake Temple Night

Robert didn't come because he was studying for his CPA exam that he is taking on Monday, so I just shot a quick picture from the car. I love how the L.A. temple just sticks out in the city, especially on this street. There's no ignoring it.

And that's it. A typical day in the life of Melarie.

Missing the Outdoors

The thing that I miss most now that I live in Los Angeles is that I hardly spend anytime outdoors. I go from my apartment to work and back to my apartment. I would like to be able to sit outside and read, but we don't have a yard to do that. The only place would be the park or the beach, which is always busy. The sad thing about living near the beach is that we don't go very often because it is a hassle to mess with parking. I guess what I especially miss is being able to be outdoors with not a lot of people around.

Inquiry is here, finally!

Yesterday when I went and got the mail there was a package in the mailbox for me. It looked like it was a book and at first I was really confused because I hadn't ordered a book online recently. Turns out the package was two copies of the journal Inquiry, a new publication put out by the Kennedy Center and the Anthropology Department. It was really exciting for me because my paper was in it! I had submitted it for publication a year and a half ago. Last year around this time I was revising it, and now it is pulished. It's feels good to see it in print, but I am also so nervous to have people actually read it. I hate having people read my academic papers because I feel so vulnerable. What if they don't like it? What if they think it's trash? I still haven't gotten myself to actually sit down and open the book to my paper yet. What if looking back on it I don't like it? And now it is out there for the entire world to read. Anyways, that's just a little bit of my insecure rambling. Really, the entire world is not going to read it, and most of the people at BYU who read it don't even know who I am.

Of the Beginning

Just a quick note- I posted this poem a couple years ago, but my last post made me think of it again, and I decided it was worth posting again. I love this poem!

By Susan Elizabeth Howe

O Daughters, I will speak
of excellent things. The opening
of my lips shall be from everlasting,
from the begining or ever
the earth was.

When darkness was upon the face
of the void, we were there.
When there were no depths, we
exploded against the bleakness
of density.

We watched the gassy sweep
of the galaxy, loved the forming sun
for its light, for its patience,
the stars for their distance
and immensity.

As Earth swirled in its sphere
we were centripetal. As seas
gathered together, we touched a finger
to the face of the deep.
As clouds meandered

into the sky, our cheeks moistened
in the mist. Bedrock settled
in our beds, and from us
soils learned to nourish.
We saw matter

organized-- hills everlasting, fountains
of the deep. Matter inspirited
as flower, fish, bush, beast,
all bearing egg or seed.
These we gathered,

enfloding spheres of truth within
ourselves, prepared with wisdom,
the wisdom of God, the God of light,
the light of the daughter
and the dawn.