We Must "Feel the Way Others Feel"

“I learned that unless we feel the way others feel, we cannot be too effective in meeting their needs. I have often said we must feel another’s need before we can fill them. Sometimes we learn another’s language or culture and are able to feel the way they feel, but not always. Feelings go far beyond mere language or knowledge. To feel how others feel is a great blessing and is accomplished as we hurt with them, laugh with them, mourn with them, rejoice with them, cry with them, suffer with them, wonder with them, pray with them, experience miracles with them, and become reconciled to die with them if necessary." – John Groberg

I love this quote. Elder Groberg wrote it talking about his mission, but it applies to anyone who is trying to help other people, whether at church, work, or in your own personal life. One of the most important qualifications my line of work of direct social services is empathy for the clients (in my case, the homeless and low-income). Everytime I meet with a client I try to think of how I would like to be treated if I were in their same position.

I often get clients who get very upset for some reason or another, (especially if we cannot provide them a specific service they were seeking). They will yell, critize, and threaten. Whenever this happens and I feel like yelling right back at them or making a smart alec comment, I try to remember that I am seeing my clients at their worst. They are desperate for help and don't know where else to turn. When the day is over I will go home to my nice warm apartment that has plenty of food. I don't have to worry about how I am going to surive through the next month. My clients don't have the same luxery. When their day is over they will still be homeless or be worrying about their month-to-month survival. Hopefully we will be able to help them out of that situation, but immediate help, like food, only lasts so long and permanent change is far from instant.

I also try not to be overly judgmental. Yes, a lot of my clients have gotten where they are because of their own bad choices, but my job now is to help them, not to point out all their faults. There are other issues with homelessness that I will eventually write about, but the most important topic I feel is remembering to treat the homeless and low-income populations as people, people just like you and I. Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand them. After all, we are all children of God and equally important in his eyes.

Random and Weird

I was tagged by Rachel.

5 Random or Weird Facts About Myself:

1. One of my eyes are darker than the other. I didn't notice this until I was in my teens, and for a long time I wasn't sure if this was true or if was just the lighting. But in every lighting my eyes are different shades of brown. I also have a a purplish birthmark on my left eyeball.

2. My name rhymes with celery.

3. When I was little my favorite chore was washing dishes because I liked to build towers with the dishes in the sink. To this day I still don't mind washing dishes and actually find it kind of relaxing.

4. I have never broken any bones nor had any stitches. Kind of ironic considering Robert has had surgery five times, stitches six times, and broken two bones.

5. Robert says when I walk I curl my toes up.


I tag:

Kevin

Ellen

Perfect Gingerbread House

Such deep concentration (by one of us at least)

The finished product

My Evaluation of Costco's Gingerbread House Kits: I like that the gingerbread house package came with everything all ready to go. All the major elements were all there and I didn't need any extra candy or extra frosting (we had some of both left over). I didn't like that that house pieces had little lines imprinted in the gingerbread for the door and windows, and even on the roof. I felt like it limited my ability to personalize my house. In the end it looked remarkably like the house on the front of the box. Shocker, I know. But, it sure beats baking the gingerbread myself, or even just having to walk all around the store to get candy, frosting, and graham crackers. I don't think I would have ever gone through the effort unless I had kids back home anxious to make this year's gingerbread house. I'm glad I went with the kit and had some Christmas fun with Robert.

Congratulations Robert!

Robert just found out he got a 91 on his financial CPA test! Two down, two to go.

We

On this page I have written:
"Robert and I"- 6 times
"We" (referring to Robert and I, sometimes+other people)- 36 times!

Peru!

We're going on a trip! Robert and I are in the early stages of planning a foreign trip somewhere, and right now we are leaning heavily towards Peru. (By leaning heavily I mean Robert has a detailed itinerary for us already, complete with dates in late May.) Hopefully it will be a celebration for Robert passing all his CPA exams, but if not we are going anyway. We both love traveling and had a blast together in Guatemala a couple years ago. We figure we better get some of our traveling done before we have kids, especially places like Peru where you can stay for cheap. If anyone wants to join us let us know!

Rearranging

Robert and I spent the majority of our weekend rearranging the furniture around our apartment. Last week we got DSL internet instead of the cable internet we used to have. However, we found out the only place the DSL connection worked was in our bedroom. So we had to bring our computer and computer desk into the bedroom, which meant we had to rearrange the bedroom. Then we had to take some furniture out of the bedroom and into the living room, so we rearranged the living room. We also got a new TV stand over Thanksgiving so we set that up and cleaned out the closet while we were at it. Whew! The layout

Putting together the T.V. stand

It felt like spring cleaning, but in December. Robert and I are liking the fact that it never gets really cold here. We haven't even turned on our heater yet. That doesn't mean it doesn't get cool in our apartment, but the temperature is nice enough that we can just put on some warm pjs and slippers and be good. Contrast that with last winter when Robert and I went over to checkup on his grandma's house in Provo while she was out of town. The heat was off in the house and it was literally freezing! I had never been that cold inside before.

BYU FOOTBALL!

The final BYU football game of the regular season was on Saturday in San Diego, and Robert and I were there. We drove down to San Diego with some friends from our ward. The Aztecs play in Qualcomm Stadium, home of the San Diego Chargers. It was niiice. We had padded seats at the beginning of the game when we were up on the club level. After halftime we went clear down to like the twentieth row near the west end zone. There was so much space! I think there were more BYU fans there than San Diego, and since it was in a professional football stadium we didn't even come close to filling it up.
Robert's Mom told me that this game should be warmer than our game last week in Utah. It was warmer, but it sure was colder than we thought it was going to be, which might be worse since we weren't expecting it. It was drizzling on and off all morning and it was cold once the sun went down. Luckily the couple we went with had a sibling there who came prepared with some blankets.

Cougars Score a Touchdown

Young Women in Excellence

We had our Young Women in Excellence program on Tuesday. The YW president and I are both new at the whole Young Women leader experience, so we were both kind of winging it as we planned. We had a lot of help from the YW president from the other ward we combine with, which we were so grateful for. Thanks Francis!

I am the only Young Women representative/leader from our ward because we only have one young woman, and she is not very active. So our Young Women are combined with another ward in our stake, but even combined we don't have very many girls. The YW presidency consists of the president, who is from the other ward, and me, the first counselor. For activities we combine with a third ward and usually have about eight girls attend.

Our theme was "Miss Confidence Pageant" because the Mutual theme for the year was "Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly, then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God." YW in Excellence is really suppose to be about celebrating the personal progress achievements of the Young Women, but none of our girls were getting any awards. All of the five active girls in our ward are new to Young Women program (either converts or Beehives) so they have not gotten very far with their personal progress. We wanted all our girls to be able to participate equally, so we put on the "pageant" so the new girls could do something.

We started the pageant by doing a Modesty Walk, introducing each girl as they walked down the aisle with a modest outfit, each sporting a different color of the YW values. Then for the talent section we had a musical number with all of them singing "I Feel My Savior's Love." The last section was a question and and answer portion. The pageant was just a segment of the program (we did give out some medallions to leaders from the other ward who had earned their medallions, and we had a bishopric member and the stake Young Women's president speak) but it was the highlight of the night.

The girls all did fantastic! We were a little nervous how it would turn out because at 7:00 we only had one girl there! A couple more got there soon after and a couple more arrived right before the pageant (they had trouble with their ride situation). It was nice to be able to meet the parents of the girls not in my ward (which would be all of them).

Robert also took his second CPA test two days ago. He said it was difficult, more difficult than the last one, and he did not remember a lot of the things he thought he would remember. So now we are anxiously waiting for the results, but we don't expect to hear back any time soon.